dirty chocolate jokes dirty chocolate jokes

1. A: Ask him to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. I think of that again and again! Men always leave but chocolate is forever! You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. I reckon its just a Chinese whisper. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" We share them in our weekly newsletter. Who doesnt love Hershey chocolate jokes? - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. I always carry chocolate instead. What is the opposite of Chocolate? Copy This. You never know what youre gonna get. Copy This. You make my day complete just by getting a whiff of you. Candy! Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. I love a man with chocolate on his breath. One snatches your watch. Because I want to swallow every last drop of you. You are signed up for our newsletter! I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. Cao-cao!On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born?In the Gateaux (ghetto)!What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A Ferrari Rocher!Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?He was nutty!What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A Bounty-ful!Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A Skor!What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?3 Musketeers!Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A Butterfinger!What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid!Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party?One thats choco-lit!What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A Choco-Light!Why did the candy bar cross the road?Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?Snickers he only snickers!What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A chocolate chip cutie!What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A candy baaaaa-r!Why was the candy bar confused?Because she was a Her-She-y bar!What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?PayDay! Because you're making me drool. Because I would love to make up for if you let me. His aged and withered hand painstakingly made its way toward a cookie when it was suddenly smacked by a spatula. One thats choco-lit! Your email address will not be published. ", Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates..(Why?) Are you ready? A Choco-Light! Theres more to life than chocolate, but not right now. I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn't that funny So I just snickered. Chocolate Ice Cream. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Among lifes mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolate can make a person gain five pounds. Choc it up to experience.Double choc everything.Here you bar.This will definitely come in candy.Im chocolate to my appointment!For their summer holiday, the chocolate couple rented a two-bedroom sweet.That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street.You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts.For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse.The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp.The electricians favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot.Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there.These days, shoes are called snickers.Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with!Chocolate coins are mint to be eaten.I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. Ill eat anything! Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? ", responds the alien. Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with! Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. 81.12 % / 2071 votes. My day got sprinkled with love! And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Girl I love to see and experience the sweetest you can be. Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! Round at the bottom, skinny at the top. 1940s-early 1960s [ edit] Cora: A brown-haired girl who appeared only in single-page comic strips in the 1960s. You are so sweet, I would eat you over chocolate any day. When it comes to stealing chocolate bars When the three kids discover that a . I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast. What did the M&M go to college? What does a box of chocolate and life have in common? "Keeps him from falling out of bed. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Cocoa-Nuts. The old man responded, Thats ok. (Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.) Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. What kind of candy is never on time? Donut rain on my parade. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. All evidence to date suggests its chocolate. Everyone got a piece. Candy, who? Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Is your name sweet because you absolutely are. Tiefing Chocolate is a Vegetable: chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter! I want to take all my breaks talking to you. T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers Take a closer look at the list of short chocolate jokes! Keep calm and eat cookies. Wookies don't like steak because they think it is too chewy. Your email address will not be published. I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." I think it was an Aero plane.I once saw people arguing over the last piece of chocolate. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. A pound a day often. How do you know its cold outside? Roblox Rap Battle Roasts Copy And Paste Good agdt Click to copy press down alt for multiple From puns to jokes at your mama's expense, these hilarious rap lyrics prove that rapping and being funny can go hand-in-hand Roblox roasts copy and paste - ds 9% faster on average with a solid-state drive 9% faster on average with a Choose one of the browsed Copy And Paste Songs For Roblox lyrics . I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. One day while the older man was away from his desk, the young man couldnt resist and went to the old mans jar and ate over half the peanuts. I have only two weaknesses resisting chocolate and resisting you. A: Chocolate covered aunts. As long as its chocolate. In yet another Laugh Factory gaffe in July 2012, Daniel Tosh found himself the subject of intense public pressure after joking about a gang rape. I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! Its my favorite feeling. Ideas for the top 101 chocolate jokes were taken from the following sources. What use are cartridges in battle? ao! We're totally the "you made a really awesome kid" kid. What the cold weather does to cold people! All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. Magic Lamp Chocolate is an excellent energy booster, but it can make kids go crazy if they overeat. Dr. Ruth Westheimer. (Its the only planet with chocolate.). Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Nothing is more romantic than chocolate. . Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but women sure can! Katharine Hepburn. What do you call a womanising chocolate? What do you call female chocolate? Its flake news. What are you talking about? These cute and funny Valentine's Day sayings are sweeter than chocolate and guaranteed to make your loved ones (both kids and adults) LOL all day long. Santa's little helpers sure do have a sense of humor. You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. - Jack Whitehall. I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. Bean = vegetable. Baby Ruth! I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. Chocolate Day Funny Jokes. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Though, it is still possible to console yourself with chocolate jokes. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk? My favorite place in the world is cuddled next to you nibbling something sweet. Almond Joy To The World. Diet Advice It will not make you pregnant. Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach. It sprinkles. Vegetable Jokes. My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers around. I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses Crushed nuts? asked the server. But chocolates chocolate. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. C? Tootsie Trolls. Milton Hershey, Never mind about 1066 William the Conqueror, 1087 William the Second. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. Knock Knock! She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." The list wont be complete without the knock knock jokes. Donut stop believing. I love chocolate to eat. They had a baby, Ruth. What candy is only for girls? Mel Gibson, Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. C? 64460V@D1.UUCP (R Scott V Paterson) A man walks into the local ice cream parlor and tells the attendant he wants a gallon of vanilla, a gallon of strawberry and a gallon of chocolate ice cream. Available on Etsy. Check it out. I heard you are a chocolate lover I guess we are compatible darling. So, as weird as it sounds, memes really can help you to fight the coronavirus. Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Knock knock! Its nice that if I want something sweet I wont ever have to hold back cause I have you. Friend 1: Well, I don't want to go to hell. It is well to abstain from chocolate in order to avoid the familiarity and company of a nation so suspected of sorcery [Spain]. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? I dont think theres anything hotter than a chocolate but hey! 1. Decad-ant If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? You are so sweet, I would eat you over chocolate any day. I heard you have a stash of kisses in your dorm can i possibly get one from you? Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? Do you think you need more sweet? Chocolate is one of lifes simple pleasures. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Addiction & Guilt What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? 4. They had a baby, Ruth. Because he wanted to be a Smartie. Your email address will not be published. I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand! Women Chocolate Chip Wookiee. Then he separated the light from the dark, and it was better. If one swallows a cup of chocolate only three hours after a copious lunch, everything will be perfectly digested and there will still be room for dinner. Tosh made a rape joke . John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. I Heard Cadbury Are going to Make An Oriental Chocolate Bar Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . We forget that chocolate is derived from cocoa beans-the fruit of the cacao tree-a fruit that is a rich source of these potentially beneficial substances. Hahaha They're better at it than guys. Stress wouldnt be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796, So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you. Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Want to see those? Did you hear about the affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. Ready for some chocolate jokes? #3. Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Because she was a Her-She-y bar! - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! The tenth lies. Because he wanted to be a Smarty. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! It turns out in-prison mint isnt that bad.What do cannibals eat for dessert? Stay out of those, said his wife, theyre for the funeral., A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is. My dear, how will you ever manage? Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. Michael Levine, nutrition researcher. Ive got a collection of hilarious chocolate jokes and puns that will make you chuckle no matter what time it is! I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Chocolates have the power to change peoples moods, and a box of chocolate will make most people happy also these chocolate one liners. With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate. I think it was too dark for me to see the second one.I just ate too much chocolate, nuts and marshmallows. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. It's so cold my shadow froze on the sidewalk. Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts! Do you know a bakery around? What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. Returning visitor? Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now theres only one. a!. 2. 3. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Knock knock! 59. You and I were mint to be! Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. Chocolate is, lets face it, far more reliable than a man. I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. I appreciate a balanced diet. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. Making this ice cream sundae will take up gelato my time! Required fields are marked *. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. ", A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. Does your dad own a chocolate factory? Are you Hershey's chocolate? Enjoy. There are a few things we can always count on when were having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? First, invade ze kitchen. Mostly disappointing. A chocolate shake. A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. You definitely taste better than chocolate. Cadburies have announced theyre going into administration. Mother to son: "I'm warning you. The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits of chocolate. "nobody cya tief like me! He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.". A man found a bottle on the beach. "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, nuff said. #2. Why did the donut visit the dentist? A mootation. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. What do you call a black guy with Parkinsons? Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. A cad-bury. 131 Star Wars Jokes That Definitely Have The Force. Feel better now? ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Q: Why did the complete moron get fired from the M&M factory? Just ice cream. Reply. Do not Disturb! You can be my chocolate bunny. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. Consequently, these chocolate jokes can also make your frown turn upside down! I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. What do you call stolen cocoa? The total text used must be less than one paragraph, and the website must give credit to and link back to this page. - You can GET chocolate. A man found a magic lamp on the beach. A rocky road! Love & Sex The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. What did you guys do? You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? A Mars bar. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. Whats the opposite of choco-late? Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd? Mr. Good The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. How about we get some Titty Roll in the sheets. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. Why the Grinch wanted to live alone with his dog. Dear Star Wars, let us count the reasons we love you. How about I make you happy this time? Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts, Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate. You can give without loving, but you cant love without giving, and the gift of chocolate is the most loving of all. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. No, the boy replied. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . the best of dirty verbal jokes that will coil your toes , take up the challenge not to laugh, try not to laugh, 2. Final score: 569 points. It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. Bagel Jokes. Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk? Tap To Copy. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. Sense of Humor. - You can have chocolate in in public. Despite their hard and often seemingly thankless work, elves have a great sense of . I donut want to glaze over the fact that I like you a hole lot. When I met you my craving for something sweet stop. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden my Starburst! Here we have funny cookie jokes that include some funny chocolate chip cookies' jokes, sugar cookie jokes, a joke about a cookie sheet, and a Christmas cookie joke that'll make your heart full of laughter.