var url; But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? And armbands. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); Laugh often, long and loud. Its disgusting, man. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? I hate a group of people with a common purpose. q("i", arguments) We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; George Carlin. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. The future will soon be a thing of the past. a[a9] = { Topics. Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They - Newsweek I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. 2023 Inspirationfeed. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. This is the best we can do folks. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Are these people kidding? George Carlin 4. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. [CDATA[ gads.src = (useSSL ? We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. its only a symbol. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. I think that speaks for itself. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed It's a big club and you ain't in it. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? } Really? Some people see things that are, and ask, why? Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. return null; And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). Its a great feeling. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. if (a[a9]) return; The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. In America, anyone can become president. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. //What George Carlin Believed About Religion var gads = document.createElement("script"); Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Laugh until you gasp for breath. //. he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. In America, anyone can become president. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. 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Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Lists. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. "Never argue with an idiot. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. It will not be with jack-boots. Never argue with an idiot. They own everything. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. } His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. "Laugh often, long and loud. The planet is fine. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. //Welcome | QuoteSaga The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); This made him outstanding. And fight songs. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." Theres a humorous side to every situation. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. _Q: [] Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. George Carlin. A.src = t; 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life function q(c, r) { I have certain rules I live by. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. George Carlin. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); //]]> About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty.